Valentine’s Day: Is it worth the Fuss??

Remember back in elementary school, how everyone made those cute little boxes and we all exchanged our valentines and we’d eat chocolates for almost a week, that was wonderful. Well eventually, we all grew up and some of us started to realize valentine’s day isn’t like that anymore. It’s just another Tuesday for me, but I’m taking the time to write this because this day holds so much weight for so many people for so many reasons. I’m going to highlight a few

• Log into Facebook or Twitter and look at your news feed/TL; there are people bitterly declaring that Valentine’s Day is ”Singles Awareness Day”, while others are professing their burning hatred via status. I don’t blame these people. Who wouldn’t be depressed by the fuss surrounding Valentine’s day? Your friends are all on special dates with their boyfriends and you’re stuck at home eating ice cream and watching a sad movie. You’re stuck in the middle of all the love; getting no chocolates, no flowers, no jewellery, absolutely nothing. I think its kind of like Christmas and your parents don’t get you any gifts just because they don’t love you as much.

• Boys are taken advantage of on Valentine’s day. Society has convinced boys that the only way to show a girl you care, is by giving her an awfully romantic and expensive gift then the girls go around bragging about it.

  Vanessa: OMG!! Tara, you won’t believe what David got me!
  Tara: What??
  Vanessa: A red Christian Louboutin bag
  Tara: Are you for real?? That’s cool.
  Vanessa: What did Micheal get you?
  Tara: *sigh* that useless boy?? Chocolates and a teddy bear.
  Vanessa: *smh* When I told you to dump him and get a richer boyfriend, you said you were in love.QUICK QUESTION: Which rule states that only the guy has to get something for his girlfriend?? Why can’t you get him something nice too? Or isn’t he worth it??
  Sometimes, it’s really not the girl’s fault because we do not know what to get you guys on valentine’s day. You don’t like flowers. We can’t get you jewellery. We can’t buy you underwear either. Thinking of gifts for you is like writing final examinations! Very Hard!

• Valentine’s day has become consumer oriented. Personally, I don’t spend money on valentine’s day anymore. I don’t believe in that! But for some people, it’s all a game. Who spent more money? Who’s the better boyfriend? Blah Blah Blah. Since when is it romantic to have someone spend their entire pay cheque (or allowance) on you just so they can fit in with society?? I’d rather get one single rose on a random day than a bunch of roses on Valentine’s day. Why? I’ll feel more loved knowing that someone thought about me and decided to get me something. Instead of “Oh crap! Its valentine’s day. I’m compelled to get something nice for my girl”

• I think Valentine’s day does more harm than good. It creates room for disappointments. Most girls (especially me) have a fairy tale Valentine’s day all planned out in our little heads. We hope endlessly that our lifelong crush would ask us out or our secret admires would get us something nice but that never happens! OK it does, but rarely! For those of you who have had good valentine’s day experiences, congratulations but some of us aren’t that lucky! Sometimes, the one little rose he gets us may be fine until we see another girl with a garden of roses. Then suddenly, that little flower doesn’t look so great anymore and subconsciously you start thinking, “he must not love me that much, Am I worth only one rose?”. And suddenly, we are back at reasons 2 and 3. We equal money to love and girls expect their boyfriends to fulfill this unreal romantic fantasy of their perfect Valentine’s day.

• One day can’t fix a bad relationship, and a quick-fix date won’t solve individual feelings of inadequacy. If you don’t like yourself, why would someone else? Ask yourself that question. It’s just a damn shame, you know? I truly believe people are capable of having great love(s) in their lives. But when you try to rush things…well, what do you expect? Exactly what you settled for…a quick fix. Because great-anythings take time. Which is why I’ve been happily single for two years. I’ve dated, and dated, and dated, and dated (or hung out, or whatever you want to call it), but never once in the past two years has something just naturally come together. How many people do you know that stay with people who don’t treat them the way they want to be treated? PLENTY. How many people do you know that stay with people just because they don’t want to be alone? PLENTY. And how many people do you know that aren’t satisfied with one relationship, but they want the comfort factor, so they cheat? Well, more than there should be.

This post is clearly a very disorganized stream of thought, but the point I want to make is that Valentine’s Day means absolutely nothing unless you’re spending it with the right people. Whether that’s a friend, a family member, or a significant other, every day you spend with the RIGHT people sends you in the right direction. Every day you waste with the WRONG people sends you in the wrong direction. So raise your standards–singles or couples, and if you want more, all you have to do is EXPECT MORE. If someone isn’t treating you the way you think you deserve, PEACE OUT!!!!!!!! Otherwise, you’re sending the message that it’s okay and/or you’re too weak to keep going, to keep searching for the RIGHT person.

So yeah, happy Valentine’s Day, and raise your standards!!!!!!!!! If you don’t deserve it–CHOOSE to expect more, and continue the quest for the right friends, the right mentors, and the right lovers!!!

God bless !